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Involved Growth

“Tell me and I’ll forget. Show me, and I may not remember. Involve me, and I’ll understand” (Native American proverb). Developing our ability to effectively think by infusing our mind with positive applicable knowledge allows us to respond from our automatic subconscious mind when inquired. We must not think about what to say when we ought to be fully engaged in listening and observing another person express him or herself. Take full advantage of opportunities to completely engage yourself in understanding other people, while restraining from giving feedback, unless asked.

Motive matters when we speak. People are substantially influenced by the reason why we do something, much more than strictly what we do or say. Let’s be genuinely interested in what other people want by focusing on their desires equally, if not more so, than our own. Be a leader, knowing leaders are meant to serve, enhancing greatness and abilities in individuals. Remember the global golden rule to do unto others what you would like done to you. Daily, practice asking yourself, “What would I like others to say and do for me?” Take initiative to say and do that for them.

Remember, people have different wants and needs at varying times, therefore, be mindful toward those fluxing desires and necessities. Quality, value, caring, love, acceptance, empathy, gratitude, forgiveness, consideration, kindness, helpfulness, adaptability, and appreciation never go out of style. Inculcate these attributes into your character. Tattoo them in your mind.

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Seeking Wisdom

“True wisdom is less presuming than folly. The wise man doubts often, and changes his mind; the fool is obstinate, and doubts not; he knows all things but his own ignorance” (Akhenaton). Practice making decisions quickly through self-awareness by knowing thyself well and increasing wisdom and understanding, which are lifelong endeavors. The more knowledge acquired reveals how little we truly know. Stay insatiably curious and hungry, constantly hunting to unearth golden nuggets of prudent insights that help mankind.

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Art of Listening

“A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while he gets to know something” (Wilson Mizner). We can learn much by observing people, including watching our kids play or through hearing and heeding their wisdom. Old can learn from young, and young from older. Yes, edification occurs through teaching others, yet even more understanding, applicable knowledge, insight, awareness, and life-changing advice or suggestions comes through the art of listening.

Constant and never-ending improvement is an eternal endeavor. Winners commit to a plan, persevering no matter what. This means never, never, never giving up. Additionally, forgiveness breaks chains, thus granting freedom for progressive growth. Simple pragmatic ideas for a better life occur just from listening. Remember, purpose-driven action is imperative for continual progression.

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Growth

Live according to the serenity prayer, “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference” (Reinhold Niebuhr). Similar to muscles growing with weights, some tension is required to grow spiritually, physically, socially, emotionally, and relationally too. Be grateful for opportunities to become better in each realm of life. Look toward tension as an opportunity to become a better version of yourself. When there is tension in life, know this depicts we are alive, able to feel and grow. Furthermore, we are responsible for controlling the controllable aspects of hormones and neurotransmitters that generate positive responses and disregarding anything outside our control. Don’t focus on perfection, only diligent effort toward aspiring to be extraordinary by doing and giving your best. Ask yourself, “Am I giving myself and others the best of me? What can I do to love myself and others better, today, and each day forward?”

 

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Healing

”The fear of the Lord is to hate evil. But love covers all sins. Wise people store up knowledge. But he who restrains his lips is wise. The merciful man does good for his own soul. But the righteous will come through trouble. A man will be satisfied with good by the fruit of his mouth. But counselors of peace will have joy. But those who deal truthfully are His delight. The heart of him who has understanding seeks knowledge.” (Proverbs 8:13; 10: 12, 14, 19; 11:17; 12:13, 14, 20, 22; 15:14 NKJV). Becoming aware of an underlying etiology or cause about why we feel or behave certain ways can lead to personal freedom. With liberation comes greater responsibility to always be and do our best. Understanding builds wings like eagles, the problems may not go away, yet we can rise above them. Intrinsic conflicts and personal pain or suffering remain choices. The decisions lie in our heightened awareness and willingness to heal.

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Go For It

“Time ripens all things; no man is born wise” (Miguel de Cervantes). You’ll soon know whether or not you passionately enjoy something worthy of your time, talents, skills, and abilities. Fervently placing your heart, soul, and mind into the blood, sweat, and tears of your dreams and desires elicits understanding, inducing potential to cultivate wisdom, and with wisdom, greater understanding. This awareness and enlightenment can become fuel that ignites perseverance, which overpowers yielding to doubt and fear.

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Work Hard

“You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink it” (English proverb). Awareness, desire, and focused persistent effort must occur for an individual’s transformation, change, or goal achievement to occur. Delegating this hard work is not possible. Personal development and seeking help when necessary is for the courageous at heart. People can live freely by harnessing willing and cooperative attitudes, therefore unearthing enlightening treasures that sow fruitful seeds into their lives. It is up to each of us to heed the knowledge, be prepared, and harvest relative successes in due season. The voyage to confidently and effectively govern and master ourselves is an invaluably worthy endeavor.

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Immature Love

“Immature love says, I love you because I need you. Mature love says, I need you because I love you” (Erich Fromm). Strong emotional bonds or bondage form, in part, because of an oxytocin release, among other physiological chemical reactions, which creates a powerful mental fog or misguiding judgement leading to blind love; not true sustaining secure love. Before making a potentially life altering decision remember to intelligently and maturely ask yourself based upon your upright principles and moral codes, “Does the potential upside far outweigh the potential downside? Is the risk worth it?” Don’t sacrifice short-term gain or pleasure for possible lifelong pain, misery, turmoil or death. Build fortifying lifestyles by wisely choosing incredibly good daily habits, consequently generating impenetrable resilience to otherwise insatiable temptation. Meat Loaf sang a song, “Paradise by the Dashboard Light,” which partly goes:

“I gotta know right now

Do you love me?

Will you love me forever?

Do you need me?

Will you never leave me?

Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life?

Will you take me away and will you make me your wife?

I gotta know right now!

Before we go any further

Do you love me?

And will you love me forever?

Let me sleep on it

Baby, baby let me sleep on it

Let me sleep on it

And I’ll give you an answer in the morning

Let me sleep on it

Will you love me forever?

Let me sleep on it.

Will you love me forever!

I couldn’t take it any longer

Lord I was crazed

And when the feeling came upon me

Like a tidal wave

I started swearing to my god and on my mother’s grave

That I would love you to the end of time

That I would love you to the end of time

I swore that I would love you to the end of time!

So now I’m praying for the end of time

To hurry up and arrive

‘Cause if I gotta spend another minute with you

I don’t think that I can really survive

I’ll never break my promise or forget my vow

But God only knows what I can do right now

I’m praying for the end of time

It’s all that I can do

Praying for the end of time, so I can end my life with you!”

“Say to the righteous that it will go well with them, for they will eat the fruit of their actions” (Isaiah 3:10 NASB). Please don’t succumb to lustful instant gratification or yield to temptation without fully understanding yourself, lest you end up like the pour soul described in that song. Don’t become blindsided or shocked by something that could have been made known through wise questions and answers prior to making the most impactful leap of your life. Obtain premarital counseling and know each other’s current health status and values (especially physical and emotional), financial situation and standards of excellence, definition of love and commitment, all children involved, amount of children desired, religious or spiritual beliefs, desirable locations to live, and one another’s dreams, among other important factors to consider. Stand alone for as long as it takes. Choosing to remain single by choice or patiently waiting for the right person is more admirable than making haste, for haste makes waste. Be intentionally patient in order to live a good life filled with an abundance of health, wealth, love, and joyfulness.