Immature Love

“Immature love says, I love you because I need you. Mature love says, I need you because I love you” (Erich Fromm). Strong emotional bonds or bondage form, in part, because of an oxytocin release, among other physiological chemical reactions, which creates a powerful mental fog or misguiding judgement leading to blind love; not true sustaining secure love. Before making a potentially life altering decision remember to intelligently and maturely ask yourself based upon your upright principles and moral codes, “Does the potential upside far outweigh the potential downside? Is the risk worth it?” Don’t sacrifice short-term gain or pleasure for possible lifelong pain, misery, turmoil or death. Build fortifying lifestyles by wisely choosing incredibly good daily habits, consequently generating impenetrable resilience to otherwise insatiable temptation. Meat Loaf sang a song, “Paradise by the Dashboard Light,” which partly goes:

“I gotta know right now

Do you love me?

Will you love me forever?

Do you need me?

Will you never leave me?

Will you make me so happy for the rest of my life?

Will you take me away and will you make me your wife?

I gotta know right now!

Before we go any further

Do you love me?

And will you love me forever?

Let me sleep on it

Baby, baby let me sleep on it

Let me sleep on it

And I’ll give you an answer in the morning

Let me sleep on it

Will you love me forever?

Let me sleep on it.

Will you love me forever!

I couldn’t take it any longer

Lord I was crazed

And when the feeling came upon me

Like a tidal wave

I started swearing to my god and on my mother’s grave

That I would love you to the end of time

That I would love you to the end of time

I swore that I would love you to the end of time!

So now I’m praying for the end of time

To hurry up and arrive

‘Cause if I gotta spend another minute with you

I don’t think that I can really survive

I’ll never break my promise or forget my vow

But God only knows what I can do right now

I’m praying for the end of time

It’s all that I can do

Praying for the end of time, so I can end my life with you!”

“Say to the righteous that it will go well with them, for they will eat the fruit of their actions” (Isaiah 3:10 NASB). Please don’t succumb to lustful instant gratification or yield to temptation without fully understanding yourself, lest you end up like the pour soul described in that song. Don’t become blindsided or shocked by something that could have been made known through wise questions and answers prior to making the most impactful leap of your life. Obtain premarital counseling and know each other’s current health status and values (especially physical and emotional), financial situation and standards of excellence, definition of love and commitment, all children involved, amount of children desired, religious or spiritual beliefs, desirable locations to live, and one another’s dreams, among other important factors to consider. Stand alone for as long as it takes. Choosing to remain single by choice or patiently waiting for the right person is more admirable than making haste, for haste makes waste. Be intentionally patient in order to live a good life filled with an abundance of health, wealth, love, and joyfulness.

Commitment

Be 100% committed to a new strategic plan. Slip-ups are only mistakes that do not define you as a person. A major issue is that when people decide to minimize their standards, succumbing to the fallacy that one puff from a cigarette, just a sip of alcohol, or only one cupcake will be okay—in addition to an individualized set rule, regression begins. Do not break loyalty with yourself, lest trust be lost and difficult to regain. Empathize with the human condition that no person is or ever will be perfect, including yourself. We are all learning, growing, and living at our own pace and race. All is well as long as we do not stop rising to new levels of excellence in any dimension of our lives. Remember that micro daily thoughts, words, and actions make up our macro destiny.

The same goes for relationships with marriage, parenting, friends, co-workers, and beyond, relating to thought, speech, and acts of love or cruelty. Fall or leap forward, not backwards into similar patterns of coping and acting. Living abundantly and full comes from relentlessly moving in a progressively forward direction, no matter what. This mindset about new ways of living becomes branded into the heart, soul, and mind, building lavish lives, previously gone unnoticed and inconceivable. Let the new you begin today, venturing on discoverable paths toward feeling alive and being authentically free.